


There's no day off for heroes

by lei___aj



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers are dicks, But Peter tries to fix it, F/M, Gen, Good Peter, M/M, Nice Peter, Peter has a crush on Tony, Peter works for Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lei___aj/pseuds/lei___aj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is crying and trying to hide his face in his hands. He doesn't succeed in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's no day off for heroes

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [There's no day off for heroes 永不停歇](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6853582) by [asadeseki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asadeseki/pseuds/asadeseki)



> The end of ASM2 was devastating but captivating. This is the result. I love angst and drama, what can I say.
> 
> English is my second language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

Tony Stark is crying and trying to hide his face in his hands. He doesn't succeed in it.

Peter just stands there awkwardly and can't help but to feel ashamed - he always thought that Stark never cared about this superhero business and was in it only for the sake of fame. Well, if that was the case, he wouldn't be crying because he couldn't safe one girl, right?

Peter thinks that he should've known better - what with knowing firsthand the difference between what everyone thinks you feel and what you feel for real.

Peter thinks about Gwen - falling, looking into his eyes.

Peter thinks he understands.

He remembers Stark running without the suit, trying to catch the attention of doombots to lure them away from civilians. He remembers Stark rushing to the bridge, catching that girl's hand in his. He remembers Stark's shaking smile as he promised to safe her. 

When Peter closes his eyes he remembers disbelief on Gwen's - on this girl's face as her hand slipped and she fell. Stark was ready to jump after her. He would've, if Peter hadn't stopped him.

And then Peter suddenly understands that from all the Avengers Stark is the most vulnerable one - he's just a civilian, he wasn't trained for this kind of thing. It doesn't stop him from suiting up and saving the world, though.

"Um," Peter steps closer, "Mr Stark?"

"I think I told you to call me Tony," Iron Man says without lifting his head.

"Wha-" Peter manages, but Stark shushes him with one raised hand.

"Don't underestimate me, kid," he sighs. "It's easy enough to compare your vocal cords."

"Oh."

"So, what do you want, Peter?"

"Don't tell my aunt?" Parker tries because that's what he learnt from his boss - always go for bad jokes when it's either laugh or cry situation.

Sta - Tony actually cracks a smile at it. Good.

"Wouldn't dream about it. Your secret is safe, Spideyboy."

Silence bites at them both and it's so loud that Peter can hear Tony blaming himself over and over again.

He remembers that feeling - tearing him from inside, crushing him with guilt, making him want to die.

"You do realize it's not your fault, right?" he asks because no one deserves to feel that way.

"Did you miss the scene where she fell to her death?" Tony hisses through his clenched teeth.

Angers is better than guilt. Anger is better than apathy.

"Just... Remember how many stayed alive today because of you, ok? I mean, when you just... rushed there, without the suit. You could've hidden, but you hadn't. It's just... Sometimes you can't save everyone, no matter how hard you try. Talking from personal experience here, so I kinda understand how that feels."

"From personal?.. You mean... Her name was Gwen, right?" Tony looks at him with red-rimmed eyes and there's something strange in his whiskey-like orbits, like he expects Peter to have answers to all his questions.

And Peter suddenly realizes that Tony must be the go-to person for Avengers. He's the oldest and most experienced one, so it's only logical that they look for answers and ask questions and expect him to have answers for everything.

But it doesn't work that way, not really. Tony has his own problems and no one cares about that. 

Peter suddenly realizes that he cares - right here, right now.

"Yeah. She fell and I caught her too late."

"Mhm,"Tony nods. "You remember Pepper?"

"How can I forget? She's cool and hot and..." Peter mentally smacks himself on the head. "I mean, she's a very intelligent and beautiful person, and I -"

"Oh, boy, do I know how you feel," Tony laughs, and it's shaky at the edges and sounds more like a sob. "When I was fighting the Mandarin... He kidnapped her and ejected her with Extremis. There was this moment when I reach towards her, promise her that I'll catch her, she reaches towards me... And the next moment she's falling to her death."

"Not cool," Peter manages because he has no idea what to say when the person you've always admired breaks in front of you.

"Not cool," Tony echoes like he's herd the worlds for the first time his life. Or it just hurts too much to even think about it, it's hard to tell.

"So did you have a time in your life when you just wanted to close your eyes and never open them up again, never feel anything again, never care again? Have you felt like everything was against you, like you were alone in the world, like the only person you could turn for help was yourself? Have you ever asked yourself what was the reason you kept on fighting, kept on pushing?" Tony inquiries not looking him in the eyes.

"Um, yeah, I went through it all. Just believed that it'll get better with time," Peter tries to reassure him but Stark looks thoughtful.

"My experience begs me to differ."

"So how do you manage?" Parker can't help but to ask because he wants to know what can make a broken man to carry on.

"I always have meetings to attend, money to rise, someone's reputation to save, interviews to give, tech to invent. Doesn't really leave any time for dwelling on being a shitty person, does it?" The engineer explains and it's wrong, nobody has to feel useless when he's doing so much, cares so much, gives so much of himself.

"You are not a shitty person," he finds himself saying.

Stark's phone rings. His hands are shaking but he manages to text back that he's finished and that, yes, he'll take care of the pushy reporters, don't you worry.

Cameras crowd them and someone asks something about goals, about reasons for doing what they do and then finally, finally they address Peter. He leaps at his chance and holds onto it for dear life.

"Firstly, I'd like to say that Tony Stark was my inspiration for joining the business. You don't know him in person but I do. And let me tell you something: he may be the most vulnerable person I've met but he's also the one who will be fighting until there's nothing left that's worth fighting for. He'll be the one fighting for things he's told to give up upon. He's the reason I get up every morning and save the day."

Everyone looks at him like he's lost his mind but he sees that some of them understand.

"It's just... Have you forgotten that he's human? That he can make mistakes? That he needs some time off? But there's no day off for heroes so Tony goes on saving everyone and you don't even care enough to understand that he's human enough to be tired, to have doubts, to have problems."

Peter looks aside: in the distance he can see his boss. Tony stands in front of the group of Avengers who tell him something about thrashing a few floors of the tower, about damaging some buildings, about needing their gear updating, about having a meeting with the government that no one wants to attend.

They don't notice that his hands are shaking. They ignore his red-rimmed eyes and broken voice as he promises them to take care of everything. 

But Peter has had a glance underneath the perfect mask. He's seen all the insecurities and vulnerabilities and he'll be damned if he'll let someone go that far.

If the next day Tony finds his coffee made just the way he likes, he doesn't say anything.

If the next day Peter finds a perfectly made radio set that covers long distances and fits in his pocket, he doesn't say anything either.

Everyone has their secretes, right?

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Marvel made me do it. SIM will be canceled and they have no intention of bringing Tony back. "This is who he is, who he's always been," they tell us. "Go re-read ToS," I tell them. There, bright as day, you can see what a selfish and uncaring man Tony Stark actually is. Yes, he's so selfish that he's completely gave up on the idea of being with Pepper because of having a heart condition. I'm sure we all remember that.
> 
> Feel free to visit my [tumblr](http://valerishka-s.tumblr.com/) and to leave some prompts!


End file.
